Did you know that your skills are directly related to your values and beliefs?
It's true - the skills that you learn during your life, and your success at those skills, will depend entirely on you holding a value for learning the skill, and a belief that you CAN learn the skill.
Let me illustrate - think about something that you can't do very well. When you think about that, what beliefs do you hold about it?
For example, I know I'm not very good at keeping my desk tidy.
That sentence "I know I'm not very good at keeping my desk tidy" is actually a statement of my belief about it. And guess what - my behaviour lives up to my belief. I constantly try to tidy my desk, but deep inside I know I'm not good at it.
If you try to learn the skills that change the belief, then you're starting at the wrong end. You need to change the belief first. And changing a belief is easiest if you have a strong motivating value that drives you to change the belief. I guest in my heart of hearts I don't really value a tidy desk. In fact, one of my favourite quotes is "If a tidy desk is a sign of a tidy mind, then what is an empty desk a sign of?"
Sometimes, we discover a new motivator. For example, people who have repeatedly tried and failed to give up smoking often find that a health scare gives them the motivator that they need to try again and to succeed this time.
I was given a lovely reminder of this recently when I was watching my favourite comedian, Lee Mack, being interviewed. He mentioned that he had hired a juggling coach to teach him to juggle. This got me curious – why on earth would juggling be so important that you would pay someone to teach you to do it? What kind of motivation could possible be strong enough for that?
I have often thought that it would be interesting to learn to juggle. I have tried, and failed, many times. I felt rather frustrated – how hard can it be to juggle?
Lee Mack explained why he had hired a juggling coach. His little son had just had his 5th birthday party, with a clown, a magician and a juggler. Mack asked his son what he enjoyed best. His son replied “The juggler. I wish you could juggle, Daddy." In that moment, he found the most powerful motivating values - his love for his son and being a good father. Those values gave him the motivation for learning to juggle at any cost.
If I examine my own motivation for learning to juggle, I find nothing as strong as that. I just don't have the motivation to get any better at it. If I REALLY want to juggle, I would need to find the motivation.
When I look at other things that I HAVE learned, like NLP, or cooking, or writing, I can easily find the underlying values that motivate me to learn them and to persist and improve.
And what about you?
Where will you find the motivating value to help you to learn a new skill, or change a habit, or excel at something you are working on?
If you'd like to learn more about the NLP Beliefs of Excellence, and how they can help you to achieve success in your life, then join us for an NLP Diploma or NLP Practitioner course. Learn more at www.brightlightnlp.com
About Madeleine Allen: The author is a specialist in Leadership, Communication and Personal Development for business professionals. An NLP Trainer and Master Practitioner she conducts in-house corporate training (learn more at www.allentraining.co.uk) and public courses in NLP (learn more at www.brightlightnlp.com)
Bright Light NLP
Hello, we are Madeleine and Phil, and we want to help illuminate your future, so you can be the best you can be.